Oink, Oink

Man have I felt like a pig lately. It's like, one day I behave really well when it comes to food and the next I lose all control. It doesn't help that I seem to be constantly angry and/or sad and I feel that I deserve some good food....maybe food will bring happiness and joy (after losing weight, I used shopping as a way to make me happy, I know this is all very unhealthy, but now that I'm broke, the food around the house is free). I need to get out of this rut. I need some control in my life...but it feels like I am not in control of anything right now. I don't know if I am going to feel in control until I have my own place again, and that might not be for 6 or more months. That's too long. My parent's are uncooperative. Even when I tell my mom to not save me anything for dinner, that I will do something on my own....I come home to "There's extra ham in BBQ sauce we had for sandwiches tonight if you want some." And there's the ham still sitting on the stove all warm... after a long day working at a grocery store it seems to hard to argue and have her put it all away. Instead, I think to myself, "Screw it, here's some warm food here, all ready for me. Why put it all away just to make something different." Or Don and I go out to eat. This is my battle. I need a kitchen of my own. I'm great at the working out part. Tomorrow will be day three of Body Pump this week, and although my knee has been bothering me again, I've still fit in cardio every day since Sunday.

On the plus side, I may have helped my Dad find a part-time job today. Will find out more tomorrow. As for me, well, I'm still waiting. If there is good news, I will post about it as soon as I can.