Alone Time

I need my alone time and my parent's don't understand. I'm going crazy. I will send everyone letters when I am admitted to the nut house.

Workout update: 45 min of cardio and Body Pump today. A little too much chocolate but I did have a new and interesting Lean Cuisine for lunch. Turkey and stuffing with mashed sweet potatoes and cranberries. Pretty tastey, even for a fall meal in almost April. I'd eat it again.

No Call

I haven't received any phone calls yet today, which I'm sensing as a negative sign. Only because the woman I spoke to yesterday said they would wanted the job filled right away and would probably call within a day. I don't see it as a really big loss, because I don't know how much I would have fit or truly enjoyed the position. I like the company and maybe the right position will pop up soon.

Anyway, I just came up with a really good idea when I posted on Karrie's blog. I think we should start our own business and run our own fitness/health inn. One thing I've considered is taking cooking classes at Metro or Iowa Western, but at the moment I just don't have the funds. But I could be one of the cooks, we could have fitness classes and equipment, and maybe it could be in a nice weather location where we could do outdoor activities. I'm such a dreamer. Too bad I don't have any business skills, I might be more serious about something like this if I did.

This morning was class number three this week for Body Pump. I did 45 minutes of cardio before class and last night when I was looking at my calendar for the month, I realized I have done almost 8 hours of workouts this week. I always feel Karrie is a champ for making it 7 hours (or attempting to) because I never made it to 7 hours in one week. With my bad weigh-in this week I guess that was the motivation to push myself with the workouts. Too bad I ate so poorly... I'm trying to be more in control today and I hope the chocolate at work doesn't tempt me.

Apology

I just realized how negative some of my posts have been lately. I hate being a downer, and I feel like I have been for a few months now. I want to be an upper and bring inspiration and joy to other people's lives. I guess even Picasso had his blue period. This must be mine...I hope it turns to a real bright, sunshiney color soon!

Oink, Oink

Man have I felt like a pig lately. It's like, one day I behave really well when it comes to food and the next I lose all control. It doesn't help that I seem to be constantly angry and/or sad and I feel that I deserve some good food....maybe food will bring happiness and joy (after losing weight, I used shopping as a way to make me happy, I know this is all very unhealthy, but now that I'm broke, the food around the house is free). I need to get out of this rut. I need some control in my life...but it feels like I am not in control of anything right now. I don't know if I am going to feel in control until I have my own place again, and that might not be for 6 or more months. That's too long. My parent's are uncooperative. Even when I tell my mom to not save me anything for dinner, that I will do something on my own....I come home to "There's extra ham in BBQ sauce we had for sandwiches tonight if you want some." And there's the ham still sitting on the stove all warm... after a long day working at a grocery store it seems to hard to argue and have her put it all away. Instead, I think to myself, "Screw it, here's some warm food here, all ready for me. Why put it all away just to make something different." Or Don and I go out to eat. This is my battle. I need a kitchen of my own. I'm great at the working out part. Tomorrow will be day three of Body Pump this week, and although my knee has been bothering me again, I've still fit in cardio every day since Sunday.

On the plus side, I may have helped my Dad find a part-time job today. Will find out more tomorrow. As for me, well, I'm still waiting. If there is good news, I will post about it as soon as I can.

Oh the frustration!

Man it has been a frustrating day off. Maybe I would rather go to work than deal with the crap I've dealt with today. Going to the gym wasn't all that frustrating. I was dissappointed my usual instructor was missing but the girl who stepped in for her was good. I did 45 minutes of cardio before class and even tanned after, for a total of over 2 hours at the gym. Yikes!
Then I stopped at Target to buy the new Counting Crows cd and a cup of coffee before I took this test at my sister's house. I knew it wasn't compatible with a Mac (even though Mac's are way better than PC's) so since my sister has a Dell laptop (she also has an old iMac) I stopped at her house to take the test. I though, this will be easy! I've taken a similar test before and only missed one on each section. Piece of cake! Yeah freakin' right! I have never even set my eyes on the new versions of Word and Excel and all of a sudden I was taking tests on the programs. I was freaking out. I figured, there goes this job opportunity down the drain! I also thought, I hope my sister doesn't have a secret tape recorder because she would have witnessed a lot of cursing! Well, I got a 83% on the Excel test, and a 73% on the Word test. They still called me shortly after I took the test for an interview tomorrow morning. After talking with my mom about it she has heard the new programs are very difficult to navigate after being so used to the old ones. This came as a relief. There is still hope!
Then, I decided, this was a good time to consolidate my loans from last semester with the loans I had from undergrad. I went online and on the Federal Student Aid websit I found all of my student loans, which were correct, but I also found someone else's name. And I think we all know who I'm talking about! So I finally emailed KETV's "7 Can Help" to see if they know how to help. If I had the money I would sue the asses off of UNL for handing out my information like that seven years ago. I've decided either getting married, legally changing my name, or moving to a new country would solve the problem. I don't know, but I'm sick of dealing with it.

A Glimmer

Although things around this house will probably get worse before they get better (my dad quit his job today) I have found a glimmer of hope. I have applied to two jobs this past week and one has called me back. I do have to take a "test" but that doesn't scare me. Who knows. I'm trying not to get crazy excited, as I now know the letdown if it doesn't work out and I've put my whole heart and hope into something.
I worked out for an hour this morning. Half of the time spent on the elliptical and the other half on the treadmill. It felt like a hard workout and I could still feel the workout from yesterday. Hopefully by pushing myself right now I can get my mind off things and have a positve result as well.

Panic Attack? Nervous Breakdown?

I'm trying to figure out if there is a difference between the two, because currently I'm on the verge of having one of them, or both. I don't know.
My weigh in was very, very bad. I was up half a pound from the original weigh in a few weeks ago. I tried to make up for it by doing 45 minutes of cardio before Body Pump this morning. Ever since I did lunges at the gym on Friday (Don made me do them with a big bar) my knee has been bothering me again. I only ran one mile in those 45 minutes this morning becaue it hurt too much.
If anyone knows of any jobs in the Omaha metro area, let me know. Or if anyone finds a few thousand dollars lying around, if you could send it my way, I'd appreciate it. I'm going to finish watching Dancing with the Stars now.