One Month, No Blog

I first want to mention that in my last blog I explained I started a new job... and it has taken me a month to update my blog. My job has sort of prevented me from any time whatsoever. I like my job (for the first time in a long time) and I feel like I am finally contributing to a cause I believe in. However, since this is a cause I believe in... the lives of young people... my job is a lot more emotionally exhausting than any previous job. There are days where I feel like a chicken with my head cut off.... Plus, the earlier hours have kept me feeling exhausted and the minute I get home I don't get to put my feet up, instead I have to walk my crazy dog. Some days this walk gives me time to decompress and time to take in the quiet after all the loud jibber-jabber of teenagers, some days I feel like it takes every ounce of energy to force my legs down the street with her and when I get home all I want to do is lay down. Alas, I can never lay down, one because of the crazy dog, two because I am not done with school yet, three the holidays are here and I still haven't gotten a gift since Black Friday,and the only gift I bought that day was for Avery, and she's the easiest person in the world to buy for (other than Lynn, who is also easy and fun to buy for). Thanksgiving finally gave me an opportunity to get some decent workouts in and last week I made it to the gym on Wednesday and Thursday, along with long, good walks on Monday and Tuesday (before it turned really cold).

One of the things I have really struggled with lately is my recent weight gain. It depresses me, especially when I get dressed every day. All I want to do is wear sweat pants. I am extremely ashamed and mad at myself for letting myself go this far. I'm twenty pounds up from my "happy" weight and I have hardly any time to work it off. So, I try to take it in stride and I've bought a few new things to get myself through, but I've been having a hard time finding pants for work that aren't super-nice trousers. Nothing is long enough for me, nothing fits my thighs, etc. I ordered 4 pairs of pants from Victoria's Secret online because they have long pants for everything, yet every pair of 12 longs I bought did not fit at all, which depressed me even more. All I want to do is work out but I have to sit on my butt in front of the computer and do homework instead. And then I snack while I do it because I can hardly stay awake each night.

On a positive note, this morning I ran three miles straight for the first time since I finished my challenge before I started my new job. I am really proud of this accomplishment, especially with the way I've been feeling. I have also been making it to Pump twice a week and I have finally been increasing my weight to a place I feel better about. I am hoping this trend in working out continues an upward climb, and I am hoping for a snow day this week so I can get some homework done during the day and stress less!